Spilling Open

Sabrina Ward Harrison is an artist/journal keeper.
A number of years ago, Annika borrowed a couple of Sabrina Ward
Harrison books from the library. I poured over the colourful pages and
scratchings of longings and lists of cute things and writings of
Italy. I loved it.
I decided a couple of weeks ago buy her first book, because I had been
thinking about it. But they are hard to find, so I ordered it from the
nice book place in Qualicum.
I re-read all those words that resonated so much with me. I hoped for
the spark of recognition.
Instead, I was kind of bored. Annoyed that the words, so full of
potential, got lost in the layers of paint and chalk and scraps.
I wondered what happened, what went wrong? Where was my Sabrina Ward Harrison?
Then i realized that she wrote it when she was twenty one.
It makes sense.
I am just not there.
Thank heavens.
I wondered what she's doing now.
It all looks the same.
I am not saying this because I feel superior to this woman. I think
she is making truthful art, and making money at it.
I recognise this all with gratefulness.
I am so glad that I don't feel that fevered urge to define things.
It is a world of answers. The questions no longer bother me. And my
thighs are ok too.